{"id":23266,"date":"2013-02-24T21:45:23","date_gmt":"2013-02-24T19:45:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/?p=23266"},"modified":"2013-02-24T21:58:41","modified_gmt":"2013-02-24T19:58:41","slug":"ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc","title":{"rendered":"Ghid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \u021b\u00e2nc"},"content":{"rendered":"

De c\u00e2teva luni sunt fericitul posesor al unui tanc al c\u0103rui scop este s\u0103 m\u0103 livreze \u00een fiecare diminea\u021b\u0103 la birou. \u0218tiu, sunt modest, dar trebuie s\u0103 m\u0103rturisesc c\u0103 am \u00eenceput s\u0103 cap\u0103t experien\u021b\u0103 la volan.<\/p>\n

\u00cent\u00e2mpl\u0103tor sau nu, am descoperit termenul de \u201e\u0219ofer m\u00e2rlan\u201d \u0219i nu m\u0103 refer doar la bizonii care parcheaza pe de-a-ndoas\u0103lea \u00een trafic. M\u0103 refer la cei care sunt at\u00e2t de experimenta\u021bi \u00eenc\u00e2t \u00ee\u0219i permit s\u0103-\u0219i bat\u0103 joc de via\u021ba mea. La propriu vorbesc, c\u0103ci era s\u0103 intru spital de vreo 4-5 ori \u00een ciuda faptului c\u0103 sunt printre pu\u021binii care \u00een\u021beleg scopul semnalizatoarelor, al priorit\u0103\u021bilor sau al centurilor de siguran\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n

Zilele trecute admiram un titan cu X7 care era s\u0103-mi fac\u0103 felul \u00eentr-un giratoriu. \u0218tiu clar c\u0103 a fost pl\u0103tit de mafie \u0219i c\u0103 furia alb\u0103 (a\u0219a se nume\u0219te tancul) este ca o \u021bint\u0103 mi\u0219c\u0103toare, dar m\u0103 a\u0219teptam s\u0103 aib\u0103 decen\u021ba s\u0103 m\u0103 trateze \u0219i pe mine ca pe M\u0103rar sau un oricare alt interlop din Piatra Neam\u021b. Dar nu, oamenii cred c\u0103 o ma\u0219in\u0103 mic\u0103 e ca o biciclet\u0103, c\u0103 sari cu ea peste gropi, c\u0103 faci slalom prin trafic \u0219i c\u0103 evi\u021bi gibonii s\u0103lt\u00e2ndu-te pe-o roat\u0103.<\/p>\n

Evit\u00e2nd cu o fr\u00e2n\u0103 servit\u0103 direct din T\u00e2rgu Ocna, am observat uimit c\u0103 pe scaunul \u0219oferului era un \u021b\u00e2nc cu muc \u00een nas care schel\u0103l\u0103ia de mama focului, cu \u00a0fa\u021ba ro\u0219ie \u0219i o jum\u0103tate z\u0103bal\u0103 \u00eentins\u0103 pe geam. Am fost foarte atent la detaliu pentru c\u0103 am avut destul timp. \u0218ti\u021bi voi, c\u00e2nd buturuga mic\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2lne\u0219te carul mare, prima grij\u0103 este efectul de biliard pe care-l voi lua c\u00e2nd voi izbi st\u00e2lpul din centrul giratoriul. Sentimentul este pl\u0103cut, unic, \u0219i-l cunosc foarte bine cei care plagiaz\u0103 expresia cinematografic\u0103: \u201emi-am v\u0103zut via\u021ba prin fa\u021ba ochilor\u201d. Dar nu, eu \u00eemi calculam viitorul dac\u0103 nu izbeam fr\u00e2na ca un drifter.<\/p>\n

Revenind la subiectul cu muci la sf\u00e2rc\u00e2it, gibonul nostru era \u00eenmatriculat \u00een Anglia \u0219i probabil c\u0103 \u0219i-a pus \u0219oarecul pe post de copilot la o tur\u0103 prin metropol\u0103. Din p\u0103cate, ceafa groas\u0103 nu se mo\u0219tene\u0219te la propriu, iar dac\u0103 individul f\u0103cea un accident, g\u0103sea o metod\u0103 de a se scuza \u00een calitate de p\u0103rinte gr\u0103bit. Ceea ce e de crezut, mai ales c\u00e2nd fecioru-s\u0103u va afla peste vreo 10 ani c\u0103 poart\u0103 tija din cauza lui, c\u0103 la 2-3 ani nu-\u0219i putea st\u0103p\u00e2ni pl\u00e2nsul de copil \u00eenfometat, cu pemp\u0103r\u0219ii plini sau pocnit. O splendoare de vin\u0103.<\/p>\n

Ceea ce gibonii nu \u00een\u021beleg este c\u0103 prezentarea teritoriilor mafiote de\u021binute de clan se poate face \u0219i dac\u0103 mo\u0219tenitorul f\u0103r’ de batistu\u021b\u0103 este plasat \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103, pe bancheta din spate, folosind ceeea ce tehnologia modern\u0103 nume\u0219te ast\u0103zi: scaune auto<\/a> pentru copii. Oric\u00e2t de r\u00e2zg\u00e2iat ar fi, sau oric\u00e2t de mare ar fi onoarea de interlop englez-rom\u00e2n rom\u00e2n-englez, nu cred c\u0103 7 ani de pu\u0219c\u0103rie \u0219i traumatizarea pe via\u021b\u0103 a pu\u0219tiului merit\u0103 dansul victoriei prin sensul giratoriu.<\/p>\n

Adic\u0103 nu m\u0103 deranjeaz\u0103 pe mine dac\u0103 tu nu vrei s\u0103 por\u021bi centur\u0103, pentru c\u0103 te crezi \u00een blindatul lui J. F. K. M\u0103 deranjeaz\u0103 c\u0103 via\u021ba mea este pus\u0103 \u00een pericol de nevoia ta de a te da mare \u00een fa\u021ba unui pu\u0219ti de 3 ani, care abia \u0219tie a num\u0103ra p\u00e2n\u0103 la caca. \u00cen condi\u021biile \u00een care ai posibilitatea de a te da \u0219mecher \u021bin\u00e2ndu-\u021bi infantul \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103. Sunt convins c\u0103 e\u0219ti capabil s\u0103 conduci o ma\u0219in\u0103, din moment ce \u021bi-ai t\u00e2r\u00e2t mastodontul vreo c\u00e2teva mii de kilometri p\u00e2n\u0103 aici. Este un mister c\u0103 ai supravie\u021buit, dar probabil c\u0103 \u00een drumul t\u0103u spre Rom\u00e2nia ai g\u0103sit ceva promotii scaun auto copii<\/a>. Poate ai g\u0103sit unul pe autostrad\u0103, nu conteaz\u0103. Cert este c\u0103 po\u021bi.<\/p>\n

Uite, ca s\u0103 nu r\u00e2d\u0103 b\u0103ie\u021bii de cartier de tine, bag\u0103-\u021bi un scaun auto copii ferrari<\/a>. S\u0103 moar\u0103 du\u0219manii t\u0103i de ciud\u0103 (s\u0103 nu mor eu pe bune \u00een giratoriu). Nu conteaz\u0103 c\u0103 ai bemveu negru, am v\u0103zut \u0219i dacii cu sigle de mer\u021ban. Se poart\u0103, e la mod\u0103, crede-m\u0103!<\/p>\n

\"prod_74[1]\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

De c\u00e2teva luni sunt fericitul posesor al unui tanc al c\u0103rui scop este s\u0103 m\u0103 livreze \u00een fiecare diminea\u021b\u0103 la birou. \u0218tiu, sunt modest, dar trebuie s\u0103 m\u0103rturisesc c\u0103 am \u00eenceput s\u0103 cap\u0103t experien\u021b\u0103 la volan. \u00cent\u00e2mpl\u0103tor sau nu, am descoperit termenul de \u201e\u0219ofer m\u00e2rlan\u201d \u0219i nu m\u0103 refer doar la bizonii care parcheaza pe… Continu\u0103 lectura Ghid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \u021b\u00e2nc<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":23267,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[272,209],"tags":[2000,1944,2001,2002],"yoast_head":"\nGhid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \u021b\u00e2nc - Cristi Juverdeanu<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ro_RO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ghid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \u021b\u00e2nc - Cristi Juverdeanu\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"De c\u00e2teva luni sunt fericitul posesor al unui tanc al c\u0103rui scop este s\u0103 m\u0103 livreze \u00een fiecare diminea\u021b\u0103 la birou. \u0218tiu, sunt modest, dar trebuie s\u0103 m\u0103rturisesc c\u0103 am \u00eenceput s\u0103 cap\u0103t experien\u021b\u0103 la volan. \u00cent\u00e2mpl\u0103tor sau nu, am descoperit termenul de \u201e\u0219ofer m\u00e2rlan\u201d \u0219i nu m\u0103 refer doar la bizonii care parcheaza pe… Continu\u0103 lectura Ghid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \u021b\u00e2nc\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Cristi Juverdeanu\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-02-24T19:45:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-02-24T19:58:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/BabyGibbon11.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"399\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Scris de\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Cristi Juverdeanu\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Timp estimat pentru citire\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Cristi Juverdeanu\",\"description\":\"F\\u0103c\\u0103tor de site-uri \\u0219i desf\\u0103c\\u0103tor de calculatoare.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"ro-RO\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"ro-RO\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/BabyGibbon11.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/BabyGibbon11.jpg\",\"width\":600,\"height\":399},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc\",\"name\":\"Ghid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \\u021b\\u00e2nc - Cristi Juverdeanu\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2013-02-24T19:45:23+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-02-24T19:58:41+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/59951c8ae086411a67c5fbc3c834a885\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"ro-RO\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Ghid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \\u021b\\u00e2nc\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/59951c8ae086411a67c5fbc3c834a885\",\"name\":\"Cristi Juverdeanu\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/#personlogo\",\"inLanguage\":\"ro-RO\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0ac17d404aa9aa5502284abef534633e?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0ac17d404aa9aa5502284abef534633e?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Cristi Juverdeanu\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/author\/cristi\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Ghid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \u021b\u00e2nc - Cristi Juverdeanu","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc","og_locale":"ro_RO","og_type":"article","og_title":"Ghid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \u021b\u00e2nc - Cristi Juverdeanu","og_description":"De c\u00e2teva luni sunt fericitul posesor al unui tanc al c\u0103rui scop este s\u0103 m\u0103 livreze \u00een fiecare diminea\u021b\u0103 la birou. \u0218tiu, sunt modest, dar trebuie s\u0103 m\u0103rturisesc c\u0103 am \u00eenceput s\u0103 cap\u0103t experien\u021b\u0103 la volan. \u00cent\u00e2mpl\u0103tor sau nu, am descoperit termenul de \u201e\u0219ofer m\u00e2rlan\u201d \u0219i nu m\u0103 refer doar la bizonii care parcheaza pe… Continu\u0103 lectura Ghid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \u021b\u00e2nc","og_url":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc","og_site_name":"Cristi Juverdeanu","article_published_time":"2013-02-24T19:45:23+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-02-24T19:58:41+00:00","og_image":[{"width":600,"height":399,"url":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/BabyGibbon11.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_misc":{"Scris de":"Cristi Juverdeanu","Timp estimat pentru citire":"4 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/","name":"Cristi Juverdeanu","description":"F\u0103c\u0103tor de site-uri \u0219i desf\u0103c\u0103tor de calculatoare.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"ro-RO"},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc#primaryimage","inLanguage":"ro-RO","url":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/BabyGibbon11.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/BabyGibbon11.jpg","width":600,"height":399},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc#webpage","url":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc","name":"Ghid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \u021b\u00e2nc - Cristi Juverdeanu","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2013-02-24T19:45:23+00:00","dateModified":"2013-02-24T19:58:41+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/59951c8ae086411a67c5fbc3c834a885"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"ro-RO","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/ghid-practic-pentru-gibonul-de-trafic-cu-tanc#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Ghid practic pentru gibonul de trafic cu \u021b\u00e2nc"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/59951c8ae086411a67c5fbc3c834a885","name":"Cristi Juverdeanu","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/#personlogo","inLanguage":"ro-RO","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0ac17d404aa9aa5502284abef534633e?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0ac17d404aa9aa5502284abef534633e?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Cristi Juverdeanu"},"url":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/author\/cristi"}]}},"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23266"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23266"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23266\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23277,"href":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23266\/revisions\/23277"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23267"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23266"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23266"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23266"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}