{"id":1275,"date":"2009-07-25T19:16:27","date_gmt":"2009-07-25T17:16:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.talentirosit.ro\/?p=1275"},"modified":"2012-12-14T22:22:03","modified_gmt":"2012-12-14T22:22:03","slug":"cum-as-transforma-eu-bacaul-daca-as-fi-primar-partea-intai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/cum-as-transforma-eu-bacaul-daca-as-fi-primar-partea-intai","title":{"rendered":"Cum a\u015f transforma eu Bac\u0103ul dac\u0103 a\u015f fi primar. Partea \u00eent\u00e2i"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Nu vreau sa particip \u015fi s\u0103 fur mingea celor din <a href=\"http:\/\/www.talentirosit.ro\/2009\/07\/22\/castiga-o-minge-puma-cu-talentirosit-si-bacaultau\/\">concurs<\/a>, dar vreau neap\u0103rat s\u0103 zic ce-a\u015f face eu dac\u0103 printr-o minune extraordinar\u0103 a\u015f ajunge primul om al ora\u015fului. \u00cen niciun caz nu am idei seminaziste cum are <a href=\"http:\/\/bacaultau.ro\">Alexandru<\/a>, s\u0103 d\u0103r\u00e2me juma de ora\u015f \u015fi s\u0103 fac\u0103 o popula\u0163ie pur\u0103 (Hitler ar fi m\u00e2ndru).<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen primul r\u00e2nd m-a\u015f lua de<!--more--> Consiliul Local. A\u015f face c\u00e2teva reguli ca s\u0103 pot da afar\u0103 mai u\u015for pe \u0103la care n-are treab\u0103. S\u0103 nu fie cu telefoane, s\u0103 nu se ia pauz\u0103 de \u0163igar\u0103 sau pauz\u0103 pentru c\u0103 i s-o sculat la unu s\u0103 se bage \u00een seam\u0103 cu alte subiecte dec\u00e2t cel din discu\u0163ie. Mi-a\u015f cump\u0103ra pantofi de vreo 400 de \u20ac \u015fi le-as trage c\u00e2te-un \u015fut \u00een fund s\u0103 le r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 urm\u0103. S\u0103 se g\u00e2ndeasc\u0103 de cel pu\u0163in trei ori pe zi c\u0103 au fost \u00een Consiliu \u015fi s-au f\u0103cut de c\u0103cat.<\/p>\n<p>A\u015f opri scurgerile de fonduri. Se duc ele pe unde apuc\u0103, pe apa s\u00e2mbetei pe undeva (Juma de popula\u0163ie \u015ftie de treaba asta) \u015fi i-a\u015f pune pe \u0103ia care au semnat s\u0103 le recupereze. Le dau un termen, apoi \u00eemi cump\u0103r ma\u015fin\u0103 de 100 000\u20ac s\u0103 dau peste ei din gre\u015feal\u0103. De unde am bani de ma\u015fin\u0103? P\u0103i \u015fi mie mi-o semnat unu mai sus, dar pe \u0103la \u00eel pocnesc c\u00e2nd ajung pre\u015fedinte.<\/p>\n<p>A\u015f cur\u0103\u0163a Bisri\u0163a \u015fi le-a\u015f da o flegm\u0103 \u00een g\u00e2t celor de la Apele Rom\u00e2ne. P\u0103i ce? Le-am t\u0103iat stuf\u0103ri\u015ful unde erau broa\u015fte rare cu r\u00e2ie demn\u0103 de monument al naturii? Nu-i nimic, cu ocazia asta sc\u0103p\u0103m \u015fi de \u0163\u00e2n\u0163ari \u015fi de broa\u015fte \u015fi de mirosul de hoit. Insula aia o mai m\u0103resc un pic (mai mult) \u015fi tr\u00e2ntesc un \u015ftrand \u00een mijlocul ei. Trag c\u00e2teva du\u015furi pe margine, la fel ca la bazin: Cine nu se spal\u0103 \u00eenainte, n-are ce c\u0103uta! A\u015f pune 10 paznici s\u0103 stea la p\u00e2nd\u0103 dup\u0103 nesp\u0103la\u0163i. Mai fac \u015fi o parcare mare \u015fi pun mai multe taxe la intrare: elevul o tax\u0103, \u0103la care vrea cu ma\u015fina o tax\u0103, \u0103la care vrea cu bicicleta o tax\u0103, \u0103la care vrea cu c\u0103\u0163elul un \u015fut \u00een fund, etc.<\/p>\n<p>A\u015f pune detector de miros \u00een autobuz. \u0102ia care nu \u015ftiu ce e s\u0103punul pl\u0103tesc dublu pentru o c\u0103l\u0103torie. Punem 3 controlori pe fiecare sta\u0163ie. Doi caut\u0103 de bilete, unu caut\u0103 r\u0103p\u0103no\u015fii. Amend\u0103 pentru nefolosirea corespunz\u0103toare a du\u015fului, etc. P\u0103i cam pute pe-acolo, dac\u0103 nu v-a\u0163i prins. \u00cen autobuz se ascult\u0103 doar Radio Alfa, c\u0103 \u0103la e radioul ora\u015fului, nu casetele de muzic\u0103 popular\u0103 pe care \u015fi le face cultul acas\u0103 sau alea cu manele. Se nume\u015fte cenzur\u0103 public? S\u0103 m\u0103 dea \u00een judecat\u0103 cel c\u0103ruia nu-i convine. Am camioane portocalii gata gata s\u0103 fac\u0103 ni\u015fte accidente, unde este cazul.<\/p>\n<p>A\u015f renova sediile partidelor, sau le-a\u015f da loca\u0163ii noi pe centru. C\u00e2nd cet\u0103\u0163eanul vrea s\u0103 vad\u0103 ce pune la cale un partid, s\u0103 nu citeasc\u0103 presa scris\u0103 sau s\u0103 caute sediul prin zonele de c\u0103cat ale ora\u015fului. Acolo unde e prim\u0103ria, c\u00e2te un partid pe etaj. Le-ajunge. Are nevoie omul se duce acolo. \u00cen plus, nu s-ar mai pl\u00e2nge niciun vicepre\u015fedinte c\u0103 i-a fost sabotat\u0103 cl\u0103direa de membrii rivali. Doar nu-s pro\u015fti s\u0103-\u015fi dea foc singuri, nu?<\/p>\n<p>A\u015f desfiin\u0163a afi\u015fele electorale. P\u0103i pe cine intereseaz\u0103 s\u0103 voteze se duce la sediul patidului \u015fi \u0103ia \u00ee\u015fi fac reclam\u0103 acolo. Doar lumea ar trebui s\u0103 voteze dup\u0103 aptitudini nu dup\u0103 poze cu vedete. Sau m\u0103 rog, lumea care are cap, cea stupid\u0103 poate s\u0103 voteze dup\u0103 culori.<\/p>\n<p>A\u015f lua ma\u015fini de m\u0103turat pentru angaja\u0163ii salubrit\u0103\u0163ii. Le-a\u015f face \u015fi program numai de noapte. S\u0103 nu mai mearg\u0103 omul pe strad\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103-i dea unu cu m\u0103tura de paie cu praf \u00eentre ochi. Asta se f\u0103cea \u00een evul mediu la \u0163ar\u0103. De fapt, se mai practic\u0103 \u015fi acum, dar tot la \u0163ar\u0103. Omul \u00een curtea lui face ce vrea. Aici e public\u0103 zona, f\u0103rp praf! Mai ales c\u00e2nd sunt 36 de grade \u015fi vine unu cu vesta fosforescent\u0103 s\u0103-i dea ni\u015fte p\u0103m\u00e2nt s\u0103 se usuce de tot.<\/p>\n<p>A\u015f da drumul la toate ciu\u015fmelele \u015fi a\u015f mai construi vreo cinci sute pe raza municipiului. Le fac din alea cu robine\u0163i s\u0103 nu zic\u0103 lumea c\u0103 beau c\u00e2inii din ea. Dac\u0103 se bag\u0103 \u00een seam\u0103 unu de la s\u0103n\u0103tate c\u0103 n-ar fi s\u0103n\u0103toase \u00eel bag \u00een pu\u015fcarie pentru instigare la violen\u0163\u0103. M\u0103 instig\u0103 pe mine s\u0103i trag doi pumni \u00een ochiul drept.<\/p>\n<p>Va urma&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nu vreau sa particip \u015fi s\u0103 fur mingea celor din concurs, dar vreau neap\u0103rat s\u0103 zic ce-a\u015f face eu dac\u0103 printr-o minune extraordinar\u0103 a\u015f ajunge primul om al ora\u015fului. \u00cen niciun caz nu am idei seminaziste cum are Alexandru, s\u0103 d\u0103r\u00e2me juma de ora\u015f \u015fi s\u0103 fac\u0103 o popula\u0163ie pur\u0103 (Hitler ar fi m\u00e2ndru). \u00cen&hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/cum-as-transforma-eu-bacaul-daca-as-fi-primar-partea-intai\">Continu\u0103 lectura <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Cum a\u015f transforma eu Bac\u0103ul dac\u0103 a\u015f fi primar. Partea \u00eent\u00e2i<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[272],"tags":[9,115,116],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v17.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Cum a\u015f transforma eu Bac\u0103ul dac\u0103 a\u015f fi primar. Partea \u00eent\u00e2i - Cristi Juverdeanu<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/juverdeanu.ro\/blog\/cum-as-transforma-eu-bacaul-daca-as-fi-primar-partea-intai\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ro_RO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Cum a\u015f transforma eu Bac\u0103ul dac\u0103 a\u015f fi primar. 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